Mile 16 — Week off and Weight Loss

Well, it has been awhile since I wrote in my blog, but everything has been great. I'm currently where I left off last week at mile 16 on my trek to better health and eventually a marathon run, but I feel great. I decided to take a week off before school starts to recharge my batteries and try to see how much weight loss I could get in a week just by watching what I eat.

The results were very similar to the type of weight loss I have been seeing since I re-dedicated myself to getting in shape. However, today I weighed myself in at 207.8! That is the lowest I have been in probably four years! I feel great and I'm excited to keep this up by hitting the pavement, weights, books and work hard starting Monday. At my current rate of weight loss, I will reach my "Stage 1" goal of 195 by October 21st—well ahead of my personal December 30th (my birthday) goal date. That would be awesome. Who knows, if I kick it up a notch maybe I could break 185 before my birthday!

In general I am feeling so much stronger and better about myself. I can do pull-ups (well, one at a time) again which has been years for me, and my girlfriend constantly tells me how proud she is of the work I'm doing. My allergies haven't been the best over the past few days, but I'm trying to clear them up so the won't hinder my run for an actual 10 mile week next week.

That's all for now though! Hope you all are doing as well as I am!

Mile 11 — No One Can Take This From Me

Had a great jog today for my first attempt at three miles. Walked more than I wanted to, but I came in just over my time budget so it worked out alright. I'll push harder next time I do a three-miler and see if I can beat my 35 minute target.

In the last half of the first mile though I had another "runner's high epiphany." I found new motivation for my running, and in general for my self improvement. What I gain from doing these things—knowledge from pushing myself to learn, loss of weight, gaining strength in my muscles, gaining confidence in myself—no one can take those things away from me.

I constantly lose motivation for things in life because it seems like—to the people who matter—the efforts I make are never good enough. They are always a "good start" but never quite "there yet." Those kinds of comments take away any motivation to try harder. Why bother if they are just going to keep telling me it isn't enough?

However, they can't take away the feelings of pride I have when I run another mile. They can't take away the drive I feel to "just keep pushing harder around the next bend...and the next one...and the next one." This time I feel that drive from my heart, from inside. I'm doing this for me, not them, and no matter how hard they try, they can't take that from me.

Mile 3 — Yoga is NoGo

Well, I tried yoga for the first time with mixed results. I only got a few poses in (I downloaded a pretty decent app on my phone) before I realized that it isn't for me—yet. I like the idea and I think it would be great for me because I have back pain—along with just about every muscle in my body being constantly stiff to the point that most people think I'm flexing all the time (including my massage therapist girlfriend)—and I stress far too much. However, it made me frustrated and self conscious because I could barely get into half of the poses. I think for now I'll use the app to do specific poses to target specific areas—and to pick poses that I can actually manage.

So, for now it is back to regular stretches. As for my run, the two miles went well. I still took it relatively easy, but I can see that my strength and running pace will come back quickly—especially if this chronic pain in my neck from the past two weeks finally goes away. The neck pain seems to have been coming from my overhead fan running at night, so I'll brave some warmer nights to benefit me during the day.

Today was a mix of Chopin and The Black Keys Pandora station I created. The Chopin was good, but I feel that is better for a longer distance run and a specifically chosen playlist of his compositions. I have the master collection, so putting that large of a collection on shuffle isn't the best for running. Did love the blues inspired music of the latter half of my run though—even if the cadence of the songs isn't the best for running.

Strength workouts went well. Crunches were too easy and the pushups were too hard, but I'm forcing myself to take a day off tomorrow so that should help. Drank my protein shake tonight—even though my stomach was stuffed after dinner, watermelon and the shake—and I'm about to put some biofreeze on before bed. Time for some sounds of the wilderness and a soft, cool pillow. See you all around the next bend!

Mile 1 — I'm back...

I promised that I would return and here I am. I keep my promises, the problem is that I never make promises that I fear I won't be able to keep. However, I'm making this one to all of you today...I promise I'm here to stay.

It takes a lot to not only recognize a hard truth, but to accept it. My hard truth today: I foolishly push myself too hard early on not for fear of failing but rather to guarantee it. If my knee hurts, I can't go run because I know I can't afford to be handicapped or to have the problem in my knee fixed. So if I push just hard enough to make it hurt without doing damage...well there I have the perfect scapegoat from exercise.

I set out to run two miles today but I knew halfway through the first mile that that was too much and I couldn't have been more right judging by the stiffness in my knee when I got back home after only one total mile.

I've been living on a sine wave for far too long. I start off from zero and gain momentum rapidly, but I inevitably reach a peak and come crashing back down to end up worse off than I started. I'm done with that. Consider this my resignation from my old life. There are too many people I care about whom I keep letting down. Some of them don't see it that way and they all still love me regardless—but sometimes I wish they didn't. Of course I appreciate their love and support of me, but I get just enough of it to be happy.

I am like Dexter (the fictional serial killer). I don't kill people—did you really think that?—but I share his dream for life. I don't hope for riches or fame. I hope to someday be content. I hope some day to feel nothing but simple and pure happiness with the people I love and whom love me. However, this has been stifling me. If I don't dare and dream to be more than average, I will never even have that. I see now that I need to be extraordinary, because the extraordinary—not the ordinary—are the ones who dictate their lives and can provide for the ones they love.

So consider this my manifesto. I'm ready to be more. I need to be more. Not only for me, but for the people I love and for the people who love me. Exercise alone won't get me there. Physical fitness isn't the only aspect here. It's time for a life change. I know I have a lot of people behind me who love and care about me. I only ask that you not be proud of me just yet. I know I'm not average and that I never will be, but please wait for me to be what I should be before being proud of me for being extraordinary. Above average doesn't cut it any more.

So here restarts this blog from the first mile. The counter will keep going until my goal has been reached of completing a marathon. That doesn't necessarily mean a competition marathon, that just means 26.2 miles in one continuous attempt. I know I can make it. And by the end of this blog, I will know exactly how many miles it took me to get there.

Best 2 Miles of My Life

First things first—I've decided that I don't care what "day" it is in my fitness plan. The fact is that the only day that matters is the day I reach my goal. Every day until then is just another new beginning. That being said, today was a great way to start over. Got a lot of homework done—though there is still a lot to do—and then went for my run.

Before my run I was really dragging. I was lazy last week and didn't run as much as I would've liked; and that's on top of overindulging over the weekend with my family. However, I'm restarting the weight loss goal from today starting at 220 and shooting for 185. According to Lose It!, if I net 1,827 calories a day intake (after my workout of course) I should be losing weight at a rate of two pounds a week. I am not expecting that, but I'm shooting for that calorie goal anyway. Today I'm 633 underbudget—or will be after I do my weight lifting and such—and I'm debating about having a little treat or just "saving" those calories for the indulging I know I will do this weekend. It won't be as bad as this weekend, but I know I will eat my fair share.

On to the best two mile run of my life. Well, not much to say about other than it was the first time on this route that I have completed one mile without a break. At the top of the big climb about half a mile in I just decided that I was going for it. Then Pirates by Jenny Owen Youngs kicked in and that driving beat just took over my legs as I reached the crest of the hill and started the descent back down to "lake level" at the mile mark.

However, the best part was how I just willed myself to keep going after passing that first mile. I took a short 15 second break to catch my breath partway back up the steep climb and one slightly longer break when I was back at the crest of the long hill, but then Wake Up by Jenny Owen Youngs came around on my running playlist and I just pushed through.

Then I finally experienced a "runner's high" or so I think when I had a bit of a life epiphany coming down the crest of the hill, and that sealed it. I never even thought about slowing down again and actually gained speed slowly as I went. It was a great run and a great way to re-motivate myself.

That's all for today, back to NHL watching! Hope everyone had a great day too!

Day 2 (again)—Reboot, Re-motivation and Plyo Circuit

Well, I decided to restart Insanity, but let me explain. About twenty minutes into my first MAX workout in month 2 I realized that I was not in shape for this yet. Not even remotely ready for it. Sure, I could plod through them, but they will be demoralizing, possibly injurious and I feel that I will get more out of the regular month one workouts. I do fear I will become bored with them, but that's alright, I'll push through. My goal right now is to complete both months and then move on to my marathon distance training. However, depending on the weather and how much better shape I am in when month two rolls around, I may put Insanity back on the shelf until the winter again and move to running for my daily exercise. I do miss it, and I know that it is better for me mentally and discipline-wise than Insanity. I like some of the workouts, and I really like the Plyo one, but I just prefer to go out and run with music in my ears and the wind in my hair—as it were.

Also, my initial goal is to run the Chicago Marathon this year. Not the half marathon, the full monty. I know that is going to take more dedication than I have put into it as of late, but I really believe I'm seeing myself change mentally. I started Insanity this time so that my off day is on Tuesday so that my one physical class—the rest of them are online—doesn't affect my workouts or prevent me from doing them.

Well, everything just changed. I just looked at the website and the registration for the marathon is closed. There are still ways of registering, but those are all based in running for charity organizations, so I'm not really sure this will be possible. I'll still look into it. However, if I can't get registered, I will keep on with my training as planned and I will map out a 26.2 mile course somewhere else and run that on the same day. If nothing else, this will be a lower pressure situation come "race day" and I can just relax and go the distance.

This is turning into a bit of a live blog! I looked deeper and I can run for some teams—I would personally go for the American Red Cross—but I have to get over $1000 in donations, which in my current physical state isn't too likely. People aren't going to look at me and think, "yeah, I'll give this kid money to run the Chicago Marathon for the Red Cross!" So, I'll keep my head up and hope I can get in shape in time to get money to run, but if not I will plan my own route like I said earlier and run a marathon on my own that day.

So here we are, starting all over again. But this is a good new beginning. Two down (again)—fifty-two to go!

Day 50—Fit Test

Well, I'm getting this one out quick because there isn't a whole lot to say. By the time I got done with the fit test today I was so broken that there wasn't a chance that I was doing my first Max Interval Circuit as well. I feel my motivation slipping after skipping all but one of my recovery week workouts.

However, I am determined to make this work, so I am heading to bed now so I can get up early and crank it first thing in the morning. I'll still have time to make up all my workouts...somehow...